The Life of Me

So now on weekdays I am a Educational Assistant (bascially a one-on-one teacher) to a disabled kid at a middle school. Never thought I'd be doing that with a recording degree... but it pays alright and is a emotionally rewarding job.

And then on weekends I work at the local Goodwill.

So no free time for me. But I really need money...

I'm playing a battle of the bands tomorrow for the first time. Its stressful. I don't like being judged, but oh well. Hopefully it will go over well.

I haven't posted on here in forever.

Life is life. I'm jobless. Holding out hope for a part-time audio gig in Nashville. Times be tough when you're broke as hell.

Tomorrow is my birthday but I doubt I'll do anything; most people I know are out of town.

And if any of you people who live in Memphis that are on my friend's list happen to be reading this, my band "Blue Matches" got a show in Memphis. I'm not sure exactly when it'll be, after the end of August, I'll find out for sure when soon. But yeah, I need everyone that I know to actually show up. It'll be good, I promise.

I've been very depressed lately.


I wish for once I could just be happy.

So... after 4 and a half years I'm finally graduating tommorow at 1pm.


Scary thought.

For my class "Sight, Sound and Motion" we have a project to tell a story through pictures alone.

Mine is called Blind Date.

( Blind Date )

I've got a new band.

Playing lots of angry songs that I've written lately.


Good times.


I'm recording a friend of mine for one of my projects that is a very talented singer/songwriter. My partner in the class called me up when we were looking for artists to record and was like what about this guy... and I thought for a second, "that name sounds really familar." Then I realized it was my ex-roomate's best friend. Weird how the world comes back around in circles.

Not only that but it looks like my band's first show will be opening up for him.

Mon, Wed and Friday I go to the internship from 10am to 6pm. Haven't really gotten to do anything audio related yet, though. Monday I had to paint the side of the building because someone put graffiti all over it; and try to figure out how to get the graffitti off of the front part too (its stone). I felt like I was in a sit com, because first this homeless guy comes by asking me if i need help. Then later on when I'm trying to sand down the stone, this guy in a truck drives up and says "hey man, i'm in the building over there (pointing), I saw you over here doing this and just thought I'd tell you that Home Depot has this stuff called 'Goof Off' which will take that right off." So I'm like, well ok. Then I go to get home depot and get the stuff, come back here and try it and its not working. And from out of nowhere this old bluesy raspy voiced guy comes up to me and says something like "someone screw you over?" So I say "yes." Him, "that Goof Off not working." "Naw." "Yeah, it'll dry up too fast. Not going to work. There is a paint store right down the street (pointing to it), you should go there and get some stuff to take care of it." ---- It felt like a tv show. A boring one maybe =P But one nonetheless.

I see the commercials to eharmony all the time, so I thought what the hell I'll sign up and see what it does.


But even an online dating site rejected me:

"We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched."



Well fuck me sideways. =P

So I'm in a Producing class right now. We had to select a couple of options of bands that we might be producing and present them to our classes on Tuesday. The band I went with, my roomates, the teacher's didn't recommend and said it was a dangerous choice because Metal music can either be really good or really bad.

At any rate I'm convinced that I can prove the sceptics wrong. However I'm also having a hard time convincing my partner (the engineer) of the same feet.


So tonight is our first recording night from midnight to 8 am. Well I just heard from the drummer that he is really sick.

Great.

I'm cutting it down to a four hour session so that I can get him in and out as soon as possible. But who knows if he'll be able to give a decent performance or not.

This sucks. I'm running into huge problems everywhere.

on top of everything, now I'm physically sick again


My body feels like crap, and my temperature keeps going up and up.

Well, at least pain gives me an avenue to be creative. So here's two new 'works in progress.'

untitled:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/am2wcq

Love, Love, Love:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/p3bfr2

Daily Overview for September 5, 2008 (Today)
Cancer 6/22 – 7/22

Something that someone says to you today will leave you stunned -- and confused.

You're still feeling pretty intense right now and that could mean it's time for a change of some kind. That does not necessarily mean you should just mix things up at random, though -- use your head!

I'm in a world of hurt
I'm trapped in a bubble that is ready to explode
But I'm lost for time
Because it already implode

I don't know what to feel anymore
The bleak reality has just begun to sit in
Everytime I'm fine, it turns out I'm not
The grim fear of loosing everything has come and passed
What is left to loose?

I'm in a world of pain
I've lost myself inside a world that knows nothing else
Because I've lost myself
Not the same, is how I've felt

Why do I always let things happen to myself?
Why am I always the one to carry the burden?
Time goes on, but I'm static all the way
Time, it falters, but I feel only remorse

People move on
I stand still
Unsure of everything that I once knew
A bright tunnel has been dimmed
And I fade away into the back drop

"What's wrong?" she said
But is there anything that isn't wrong
Wrong for her, wrong for me
Wrong for the world is how it feels

Sometimes I want the pain to bare down on others
Even if they are the makers of instances
Sometimes I want my head to turn to putty from the thoughts
I've burned everything I once had of my former life
Its the only way to put it to death
But the death doesn't come
I still linger on, and I feel all the worse for that

I feel like a sucker.

If we are talking about cheating in terms of monogomous relationships then I would say:

When someone is clearly in a commited relationship yet acts upon a physical interaction not becoming of a regular friendship.

The emotional cheating idea is a much greyer area. Some people don't even consider it as such.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMBEAR!


Happy birthday baby. I love you. Sorry I can't be there.

So I've finally almost seen all of the ocsar nom'd films, and since they are this Sunday thought I'd go ahead and most the movies that got to me the most in 2007; partically in order of how much I liked them.


1. Gone Baby Gone
2. There Will Be Blood
3. In the Valley of Ellah
4. Reign Over Me
5. Juno
6. Once
7. The Lives of Others
9. Ratatouille
9. 3:10 to Yuma
10. No Country for Old Men
11. Knocked Up
12. Superbad
13. Sunshine
14. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
15. Sweeny Todd
16. Black Snake Moan
17. Grindhouse
18. Rescue Dawn
19. Death Sentence
20. Breach
21. Atonement
22. Waitress
(I only leave off "The Host" because I'm not sure if it counts or not since I'm pretty sure it was released in Korea in 2006)



BUT I've still yet to see Michael Clayton, Into the Wild, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, American Gangster, Away from Her, Persepolis, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, I'm Not There, Assasination of Jesse James, Lars and the Real Girl, The Savages


Sheesh; usually I do a top 10 list every year, but I started thinking of all the movies I really liked that "officially" came out in 2007 and I could only get down to 22.

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've experienced. First emotinonally and then physically. I couldn't really even move around by last night, and I vommited for the first time since I was in middle school. My parents had to take me to the walk-in clinic, after 3 hours of waiting I found out I have the flu.

Life is completely ridiculous sometimes. And almost always unfair. Sometimes it doesn't matter what kind of intentions a person has or how much they care, other people just won't recipricate those feelings no matter how much the person depends on it.